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Please Come To The Period Party! Wait, What?

Please Come To The Period Party! Wait, What?

 

So, I got this in the mail the other day.

At first, I figured my girlie was pranking me. I mean, Janet is your standard working Mom of many. The kids are all in stuff like soccer and gymnastics. She belongs to the Junior League. We organize fundraisers together. I seized my phone.

“Hey, girl. Just got your invitation.”

“Oh, good! Can you and Zoe make it?”

“Um, what exactly is this?”

Pause. “A PERIOD party, silly!  To celebrate Emily Anne’s first menstruation.”

“I know I’ve been out of the girl loop with just having the twins for so long, but the period party thing.  Is this… done a lot?  Is this a thing?”

Impatient sigh. “Erin, you’re not going to be all immature about this, are you? Menarche is a crucial developmental step in a young woman’s life. She deserves to have her community gather round her and celebrate her fertility.”

I fought to swallow down a frantic giggle. “Where’s the gift registry?”

Janet hung up on me and I went over with pie to soothe her feelings. And she gave me permission to write about this because she knows I’m stupid and that you’ll agree with her.

So… this is a thing? We do this, now?

 

(image credit: Maxpixel)

“Please come to the Period Party!”

Anyone who’s been to Burning Man with me has already hung out with the “Goddess Girls.” They weave their own skirts and then they don’t wear them because they’re dancing nude under the full moon. Those girls? Oh, yes. They’re already on it. In fact, they engaged me in a discussion once about “syncing up” all the cycles of everyone in the house to “flow” at the same time. I have three sisters. That would have been Armageddon. I can hear the clip-clopping of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse just thinking about it.

But I guess I just never saw this coming into the mainstream. And the whole thing is fraught with confusion. Who do you invite to your little girl’s Menarche? Her gym class? Uncle Steve? Grandpa?

Look, I know a girl’s first menstruation is an important developmental step. And when it was my turn my Mom was great with a calm and matter of fact explanation of what was to come in my developing body. Then she threw me a box of feminine hygiene products. “Have at it, honey. Let me know if you have questions.” I was good. But if Mary Helen had tried to throw me a “Period Party” and I showed up to a house full of friends and relatives and a big cake, I would have walked back out the door and planted myself in the middle of I-15 at rush hour with the hope it would be over quickly.

 

Anyway, I’m going. And I’m taking Zoe. This will raise questions from my daughter about what “That is?” and I’ll answer them. But I’m secretly longing for the old days when I just had to find something in the Unicorn Poop toy aisle. Because I still can’t get anyone to tell me where Emily Anne is registered for a gift for the Period Party.

Does everyone do this? Am I just out of the loop on raising girls?